Time Machine Pt. 2

One woman was the subject of my last blog...and another extremely important woman is the subject of this one.

I usually try not to bring others that are close to me into these blogs strictly because they might not want to be the subject of so many prying eyes. That may only be the case if someone actually read these blogs, and I know a few of you out there do, but there certainly isn't a ton of "Midnight Show" fans.

Nonetheless, I've known my friend Aly for years now. I think now it's been more than a decade. We met as bright-eyed 14 year olds in high school, living two different lives, exclusive of any influence from the other up to that point.

I've had the opportunity to meet several amazing people in my lifetime that are now very close friends of mine, but never have I met anyone else besides Alyson that has made such a profound impact on my life.

Turns out she was going to ask me to our first Sadie Hawkins dance our freshman year in high school, but didn't have the guts to ask. I never went to a single dance with her in all of high school. My brother went with her to one, but I never had the pleasure. Senior year, being without a date for my prom, I decided I'd ask her. She was my first choice so I decided to bank my hopes of a memorable final hurrah on her shoulders.

Unfortunately for me, she said no. Now it wasn't that cut and dry, however, for all of those who may be jumping to conclusions right about now. There were some extraneous factors at the time that would have made the situation more difficult. In reality she actually did want to be my date, but that story doesn't belong here. To keep it brief, I ended up going with someone to my senior prom, and while my date was great, the prom experience in general, fairly shitty.

Now I would have my day in court, thank you very much. Approximately a year and a half later, Aly and I started dating. Turns out it would be like that for the next 4+ years. I'm a one-woman man, and she was all I could ever ask for.

Yet there did come a time when I felt like our time had come to a close, or more specifically my time with her had come to a close. I broke it off, March 20th, 2006.

Halloween of that same year we got back together, much to my relief. Little did I know our bond would break once again August 30th of this year. Never will I forget breaking the heart of the same amazing girl, twice. No one will ever understand the guilt I've harbored for doing that.

I have been through every sort of situation with Aly, and in turn have put her through the same. Extremes of all kinds, all of which I will NOT go into detail about. There isn't any range of emotion I haven't experienced by being with her.

To bring you up to our current situation ... frayed. We are both living our own lives, in many ways once again exclusive of the other's influence...almost as if we've gone full circle.

I fear I've broken our time machine. Any opportunity to regain what existed in the past is gone, most likely. Still despite my feelings of abandonment, she is someone I think about every day. We have tried reconciling some of our past, but I know I may have sealed my fate with words spoken in days gone by. Regardless of what the future holds for myself, I am truly thankful and blessed to have had the rare opportunity to not only be loved by someone else, but to love back as well.

We still have the blueprint...and the parts to build it again, but now is not the time to try and revisit the past. She deserves to live her life without me in it, and I need to try and do the same. It was a once-in-a-lifetime journey, one that I am honored to have been a part of. A new journey, for both of us, is starting.

...and who knows, maybe one day one of us might stop and pick the other up along the way.

Little did I know when I was 14, the girl with the braces sitting across from me in typing class would change my life forever. I am forever thankful, Al. You'll never know how much.

C