Stamps, Shadowfax and the "Second-look"

I was involved in several "blog-worthy" moments with several "blog-worthy" women this afternoon...

The first two happened within a ten-minute period while I was depositing a check at my local Washington Mutual.

While filling out a deposit slip, I noticed someone walk up beside me. It's probably just a nervous habit, but I always cover up my account number when I notice somebody is in the proximity of myself. Although you'd have to be a hacker or know somebody who is, having somebody's account number alone probably wouldn't get you too far. However my suspicions were right that the lady next to me might have lost a couple of her marbles along the way. Here's the break-down.

After I had filled out my deposit slip and signed the back of my check, I got in line to deposit it. The woman who was beside me earlier was still in the same place when I left. I also noticed she had her keys on the counter next to her, but didn't think anything of it at the time. All of a suddden she leaves Wamu without her keys!

Moments later she comes back...not for the keys, but to fill something else out. At this point I'm figuring she will remember the keys she had left on the counter, but again she leaves WITHOUT the fucking keys! I mean they are RIGHT next to you lady! The couldn't have been more than a foot away! Come on! It couldn't have been more obvious!! Before she left the second time, I had anticipated her leaving her keys there again so right before she was about to open the door I say "Maam are those your keys?"

The middle-aged "fitness" buff (the 24-Hour Fitness keychain and workout clothes an obvious giveaway) comes back almost knowing somebody would tell her she had left her keys on the counter. She says "oh yeah," grabs the keys and leaves. Based on her reaction to what I said, maybe they weren't her keys at all...almost like she knew somebody had left them there on accident and it was all an elaborate plot to make me believe they were her keys. Though they were most likely hers b/c the true owner of the keys would have returned soon after knowing they couldn't unlock their car door. Might want to try working the brain out a little more and the body-oddy-oddy a little less lady.

Just minutes later after performing my "good" deed of the day, my speedy white steed of a Honda Civic, "Shadowfax," almost got blizz-asted by car in the WaMu parking lot. I was backing out and half-way out of my space when the car behind mine begins to pullout. Since my car was already into the lane, I figured the other driver would notice. As it turns out, she never saw me coming (not a reference to the song NOT made famous by "TQ"). The car kept coming...and coming. I put the car in drive just before my ride took a "shaddie spank." I looked over my shoulder and the lady didn't even know what was going on. Talk about frustrating when you don't even have your window rolled down yet...ahh! What's up with all these weird ladies at the WaMu today, sheesh maneesh!

After narrowly avoiding some bumper-on-bumper action, my next stop took me to the post office to send out some LOTR trades and some ish for my bro. I almost always use the automated stamp dispenser instead of going and waiting in line because nobody's ever using it when I walk in and it's much quicker. However today I had nine letters to stamp so I was going to be there for a little while (probably a MAX of 5-7 minutes...MAX).

I start with the stuff my bro needed mailing. I put the first few items on the scale to be measured while I enter in the appropriate info so they get the right postage. I had just popped two 41-cent baddies on the first two letters when I saw a lady waiting behind me.
With seven more to go, I remained steadfast on my task at hand. I stamp two more letters when the lady behind me says "Are you going to put 41 cent stamps on ALL of those?" At this point I should have turned around with a big-ass smile on my face and said "You got that right!" and turned back around to what I was doing, but instead I try to validate my prolonged stay at the automated stamp machine by saying I have some "international" postage as well. Jeez louise lady, do you really think I would waste my time purchasing 41 cent stamps fucking individually? I could have easily just bought a book of stamps and be on my way if that were the case. Albeit there are a lot of stupid people in this world, I'm certainly not one of them.
I finish stamping my plethora of parcels, dump them in the appropriate slot, wish them good luck on their individual journeys and leave the P.O. thinking about all the weird ladies I came in contact with and how they would later factor into this blog somehow.

I did take something good away from each of these experiences, however:

1. From Miss Clueless on the Double-Take: Telling her she left her keys probably meant she could get in an extra crunch or two on one of those big fitness balls before cooking a Digiornos's pepperoni pizza while still in the box...it's not delivery dumbass!

2. From Miss Shadowfax Spanks-alot: As Wesley Snipes once said in an infomercial for the "Total Gym," "it helped me build those quick-reaction muscle fibers I need". Besides, dealing with insurance companies is never a walk in the park, that's why I've made sure I'm still accident free up to this point.

3. From Miss Stampless In Seattle: There are a lot of impatient complainers in this world so make sure you have something witty to say if they decide to bark up the wrong tree.


After today's unusual run-ins, I don't think tomorrow will be as remotely interesting as today was. Nonetheless, if something does happen, you can be damn sure you'll see it here.

Stay posted...

Colin